Discovering: Robi Draco Rosa - 'Solitary Man'

I feel so lazy.

So. Lazy.

Right now, this very moment, I'd love to do nothing for the rest of my life but sleep.

Enjoying: 1942 A Love Story OST - 'Ek Ladki Ko Dekha'

I wish my life were like a fluffy Bollywood romance movie, filled with songs and dances, and, of course, love ... but not a Karan Johar vehicle - please.

And with beautiful heroines only: no heroes - not even the Khan of all fluffy romances.

Looping: Annabelle Francis feat. Sheikh Haikel - 'Shooting Soul' (Chicken Rice War OST)

Last night, standing in the balcony of my grandmother's high-rise apartment, I saw the blinking lights of an ascending airplane from the nearby airport.

I couldn't help wondering if that was the plane Jen boarded, en route to Auckland.

And I couldn't help imagining myself on that flight, and the connecting domestic to Welly, and the shuttle from the airport to Willis Street, and then my enjoyment of the rest of the summer in Welly, and infinite days to come ...

Looping: Nayak OST - 'Chalo Chale Mitwa'

The only thing I truly looked forward to this entire first day of the Lunar New Year was ... Vasantham Central's screening of Paheli.

Solace: Mumbai Matinee OST - 'Tu (Version A)'

My favorite Lunar New Year was the one year I spent it away from home, in Welly, alone.

I had a bowl of chilled, honey-sweet black cherries for dinner that night, and it had just been another summer day - no fuss, no rellies, no chaos: sweet.

I hate the Lunar New Year celebrations.

Earworm: Stentorian - 'Fancy Girl'

I'm so disappointed Jen won't be coming over today.

When she flies off this Sunday, who knows when we'll next have the opportunity to hang out ... if we'll have the opportunity at all.

Enjoying: A.R. Rahman - 'Maa Tujhe Salaam'

Still didn't feel like talking to anybody at all today, but at least I didn't care I don't feel loved.

When Germ texted me, I was happy to reply though.

I miss living on my own; I think that's what making me feel so frustrated today.

Solace: X-Japan - 'Tears'

A pleasant day with a horribly unpleasant end.

I want to run away and hide.

I can't cry.

Looping: k.d. lang - 'Consequences Of Falling'

Sometimes, I think the reason I'm alone is that I attract boys but am attracted to girls, who aren't attracted to me.



It's not fair.

Discovering: Adam Saikaley - 'Of Garden's Yesterday'

My sunburn itches and hurts.

It's like it is having a crush and being heartbroken at the same time.

Enjoying: Dil Se OST - 'Ae Ajnabi'

I don't feel very loved today.

I want to be loved; I want to be cared for; I want people to care about me.

But I don't feel like talking to anybody today.

Looping: Sugababes - 'Push The Button'

I thought the interview went pretty well ... and then I remember I've forgotten to check whether my top had rode up at the back and inadvertently flashed the top fronds of my fern at the interviewers.



I remembered to remove my skull stud, at least.

Earworm: Nellie McKay & k.d. lang - 'We Had It Right'

My Devils lost to the Rag$.

I'm leaving for my interview with a distinct sunburn and no makeup.

It feels like a go-fuck-yourself day.

Tuning In: NHL Radio - Devils @ NY Rangers

I worry I subconsciously want to screw up the interview I have later today.

I don't need enemies.

Discovering: The Cinematics - 'Human'

I know I screwed up - big time - when I underestimated the strength of the sun and forgot the sunscreen.

That's why you're hurting; that's why you're so red and angry now.

I'm sorry ... please stop hurting: even the finest cotton feels like sandpaper on my skin now.

Discovering: Belle & Sebastian - 'Funny Little Frog'

The telly was on.

It made me watch shows I didn't want to watch; it made me search for food I wasn't hungry for; it made me eat food I didn't want. And I had mini panic attacks all throughout.

Turning it off made me feel all scared and insecure.

The telly is evil.

Discovering: Taylor Deupree + Eisi - 'Soshite Hossuru'

As I hugged my knees, sitting on the scratchy grass, the sun grinned so fiercely down on the exposed swarth of flesh between the bottom of my top and the top of my bottoms it had left its grin on my skin, red and fierce.

I've enjoyed myself at the Sembawang Festival.

Discovering: Anne Briggs - 'Willie O'Winsbury'

Reading James Kochalka's American Elf: The Collected Sketchbook Diaries of James Kochalka October 26, 1998 to December 31, 2003 made me do this - this new blog.